Dear single brother seeking a bride, congratulations on getting to this stage. When you look at the numbers it would seem like getting a wife is easy but getting a good wife is on a different level of difficulty. Understand that ladies are checking and assessing you the same way you are checking them out, meaning that ladies know how to package. Fortunately, a person can only package for so long. Eventually, slips always happen but that can only work for you if you know what you want and what to look out for.
Check how materially motivated she is. If she is unable to help herself over little things and does not have an independent financial mind, you really want to be avoiding her. You know your responsibility but what you want is someone who values money enough to be able to know when to demand, when not to demand. The last thing you want is a wife who will not be willing to be productive, let her be someone who is able and willing to make her own.
Lookout for how she addresses people around her. A lady who sees the need to act superior to a waitress or a cab driver is needlessly arrogant and will eventually shift this behaviour to those around you, then you.
When her stories don’t match, don’t spare anything, ask questions. A lady who paints an image of a wealthy background when you can clearly see the opposite is one with poor self-esteem, one which always comes with an agenda.
Don’t be stingy and gift as much as you feel but don’t cross the line. You have no business entertaining direct demands simply because you are looking to marry her.
Pay attention to her family and pick from what’s said and what’s seen. Refuse to be bullied into being a source of livelihood for her family members. This often points to a lack of independence and poor values and you can expect it to grow into something disturbing in marriage.
Watch how she spends her time. If she’s not praying now, you may struggle with that later. Of course, there’d be an attempt to act this but luckily, it shows when one is faking it.
Observe how she treats her family and expect that she’s not going to treat your family any better than that. So, if she's rude to them, know what’s coming to yours eventually.
Be sure of what she does for a living and why she’s in the situations she is. If the level of income you see does not tally with the lifestyle you see ask question and iinvestigate.
Pay attention to how much she’s willing to self-develop. If she’s not all about it now, it’s a red flag.
Be very clear about your own values and expectations of marriage then watch to see, beyond what she claims, if she would be able to work with you in creating it. If you cannot see that happening, you are better off walking now.
Check your connection and ability to talk when all is smooth. Check this also when all is not smooth.
Marriage comes with a lot of pressure so you want to look out for how she reacts under pressure. If she’s quick to anger, she’s toxic and will become worse in the face of what marriage presents.
Check her close friends and check their behaviours. Birds of the same feather really do flock together in this case. It may not be physically evident but something in their minds connect. If these friends give off a bad vibe, expect the same from her. If she’s a loner and you like people, understand that this can become an issue too, see if there’s a balance you can live with.
People change but if you are someone who would be affected by her past, be sure to clear this before things get deep. The last thing you want is to start discovering things after the wedding day and using them as excuses. Sort that today. If you are not cool with her past, move on.
There is no such thing as a social drinker. It’s either you drink or you don’t. The same with other substances. IF she drinks, it's a no (of course, this is assuming you also do not drink)
Assume that whatever you don’t like today may not get better and ask if you’d be able to love her if that happens. This applies to dressing and other things. They may seem little but little chips can become giant cracks and you don’t want that in your marriage.
You want to be sure you are okay with these things before you ask her to marry you.
