Choosing a life partner is a huge decision and one not to take casually. When choosing a person to marry, ask yourself lots of questions and evaluate what you want – the real why you want to marry.
Identify your best qualities and the things you can improve upon – what you have to offer. Know your own role and responsibilities in creating a happy relationship and recognize that it’s up to you to create the relationship you want. Look for someone who complements and brings out the best in you, such as your sense of humour and love for others. Talk about your differences and any potential problems that may arise if you do become married.
🔸️Be comfortable about yourself: You should feel comfortable expressing yourself without the fear of people’s judgment or ridicule. If you feel pressure to be someone else or act a certain way to get their attention, especially around the person you propose to marry, it is a terrible sign. Don’t ignore the source of the problem! Identify why and address the causes before you proceed.
🔸️Put Yourself First: What is your purpose – your vision- know your goals and what you want to do with your life. Then, ask would they support you and be a part of it. The person you marry should be the person that will help you grow and be a better person in all spheres of life, someone who will support you and encourage you to pursue your desires and dreams.
🔸️️Identify Your Personal Needs: What you admire in a man / woman, how you like to enjoy the time you spend together. Write a list of the things you desire and the things you aren’t willing to compromise on, like religion or habit. Think about what kind of person you would like to build a future with. If you’re currently with someone, be honest with yourself: do you really feel good about your relationship or if you are waiting for something else deep inside.
🔸️️️Does the person want marriage as much as you: If you’re trying to find husband/wife, ensure the person you’re dating want to get married. If your relationship is getting serious, ask about his future hopes and dreams. If they don’t include marriage in their answer, ask them about it. If you’re waiting years for someone to come around, have a serious discussion and let them know what you want. Do not be afraid to ask this question, and do not put off asking because you are afraid of their answer. If you are serious about getting married someday, you should know if your significant other is on the same page or not. It is important you know.
🔸️Shared values: Discuss the biggies! Do you share the same desires when it comes to having kids or not? At least two of your relatives got divorced because the answer to this question was no. Do you have similar attitudes toward religion or spirituality? Do you agree about general personal finance practices — debt payments, savings, binge purchases? Think about how this might affect your potential marriage, family, and future children. Other things to consider are compatibility: how you complement one another, conflict styles: how they express anger, and lastly, don't underestimate the weight of this one, as it has had a huge impact on your parents' marriage: When it comes to spending time with each other's families (holidays, vacations) and taking care of aging parents, are you in agreement on what's reasonable?
🔸️Explore emotional compatibility: You shouldn’t have to beg for your future spouse’s attention. You should connect on an emotional level. Look for a person you can openly talk to and who makes you feel understood emotionally during times of hardship and in times of celebration. (Note: This is not about seeking sexual compatibility – there’s no such thing. Nothing about sex and our bodies is ever constant). Don't let lust be your guide!
Look before you jump!
